There is a simple principle that we're all familiar with: If you feed something, it grows.
If you feed a little kitten, it will grow. Same for a dog. Same for, I don't know, a killer whale in captivity.
But we can be more abstract with this idea.
Think about the things you love most in life, your greatest passions, the things that give you pleasure.
I feed my love for reading by acquiring lots of books.
I feed my love for my children by spending time with them.
It's possible to feed something too much of course.
I can, for example, indulge my love for playing Fallout too much, to the point where I just feel gross and crispy fried when I turn it off. Ugh, what have I become?
It's possible to starve something as well. If I neglect a friendship, I don't feed it enough, I feel guilt. I feel like a bad friend.
It is by feeding our passions in life that we grow. Feeding a hobby or spending quality time with family or developing relationships with your neighbors can grow really positive things.
But be careful about what you're feeding. If you feed a grudge, it will grow. If you feed resentment and insecurity - those things can grow too. They can get way bigger than they need to be.
Feeding negative feelings doesn't always have to be a bad thing. If you're feeding a sense of outrage at our undemocratic political and economic system, I would say that's justified. I think it's a good thing to grow your activist side by finding other like-minded people and trying to build a better future.
We feed things with our attention.
Your attention is your most precious resource. Don't waste it. Try not to feed things that can get so big they end up hurting you.
What are you feeding? Are you feeding something that you want to grow? Practicing a musical instrument, for example?
Or are you feeding something negative that's gotten too big already? Like time spent hating a job or a bad boss?
You can control your life by controlling what you pay attention to. Pay attention to what you're feeding. Make sure it's something you want to grow. If it's not, stop feeding it!